So tired

I'm so tired these days .
I'm afraid I will get colon/intestine cancer/tumour . I know no one cares me .
I wait and wait for a msg but no one msg me . Always I find people after finding suddenly they don't reply me .
It's not just once already , It's always . Always me the one to find my friends to chat .
They only find me when they got problem . I don't want to hear a fake reason .
No credit , No money , Don't want to chat , Busy . I hate to listen to those reason . Everything I heard that I vomit . I'm so sick . Don't care about each others then say don't care . What's so hard to say it out ? Hurt me only . Hurt me not others . What is it so hard to msg with me ? I don't wanna accept any reason anymore . I won't reply like you guys treat me forever . No good for me . I care you guys so much but you guys never ever think how I feel always am I the one to think about . Every second I msg you guys I ever think that you guys are in that reason condition . I don't dare to msg you guys but now I've make my mind I don't want to msg you all anymore .